7 Reasons Why Spell-Check is Better than Alcohol!

Ahh yes. Here we are. You and I. The meeting of minds. Who'd have thunk it? Anyways, obviously, all two of you that are reading this know that my inspiration, and annoyance come from one simple case... of the missing spell-check. IT IS A MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE. To subject someone to your abominable, abhorrent and revolting spelling and grammar. You shouldn't flaunt your effulgent vocabulary... if you can't spell half the words in your word bank.


And thus I present; 7 Reasons Why Spell-Check is Better than Alcohol!
The Scenario: It is your 3rd year at insert terrible company title here, and your boss, "Farty-Marty", has decided to throw you a small "Hey-thanks-for-sticking-with-this-crappy-company-for-so-long," party. On the eve of the celebration, as Marty waddles his way up to the stage, you can't help but notice he is leaving a trail of stink behind him, - They call him "Farty-Marty" for a reason, you know - so you turn to get out of the gaseous cloud. As you pivot yourself away from the repulsion you notice a fine lass. You decide, you will make your move later. Marty starts to talk, and at first it's all fine and dandy, it always is... Until... He starts talking about that one time when you got stuck in the bathroom stall that had no TP and you had to dash to another one and get some, hoping no one would be in there but then you realize that Marty had been in there the whole time, he even heard you singing your Classical Opera. And now everyone - awh man even that girl across the room - is laughing at you. Gosh, Marty. So to sum it up, the night ended in you downing like 8 shots. You did a lotta stupid shizz that night. You stood up on a table and started singing "ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER, I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU!" (I think you may be tone-deaf) and then... You took your pants off. Needless to say, you're out of a job. Your mom isn't happy that you're back in her basement. Oh, and that chickadee across the room... Well you didn't get her number.


In conclusion, I don't have 7 reasons. However, I have 2, maybe 3... 1. You can't get drunk off of spell-check and do something stupid like call your ex and beg them to take you back because you've changed and la-de-da. Unless you're a tool. Maybe blogging while listening to the complete Glee soundtrack, or watching Ray William Johnson... Wait, what?


2. If you're using spell-check, you can be pretty much guaranteed that whatever you say is gonna sound smart. I mean I'm euphoric spell-check and I smell smart, kite?


3. You won't get hung over from spell-check. BUT. You will be hungover from that A you get in English 101. NUFF SAID.


alright well thiz was fawn but i hav 2 go and back a cake. bye!

See what I did there?