Good Friends With Bad Benefits

What makes a good friend? What makes a bad friend? I have a good friend with bad benefits... As in she puts her feet all over me, farts in my bed, and pokes my boobs a lot... But I love her nonetheless, because she is loyal, trustworthy, honest, loving, and other than stealing my iPod to go on Facebook all the time, she can do no wrong in my eyes. But you see, she is not the focus of this entry.


Lets get one thing straight... The title of this blog paints a terrible picture of what this entry is really about... It's about a bad friend with bad benefits. She is a horrible friend, who seems to do nothing but pity herself, and complain. ALL. THE. TIME. Lets call her Gloria. Whilst brainstorming for this blog, I had a terrible fear. What if she reads this entry? And so I came to the conclusion, if she reads this blog entry... Good. Maybe she can finally see my point of view.


I have been friends with Gloria for fourish years. But in the last year we went from tight as spandex to hammer pants ( hammer pants: refer to MC Hammer - Can't Touch This). Let me tell you why.


Early in September Gloria asked me if I wanted to go to a concert with her. I said yes. Having another extra ticket, she also asked another friend to go - Lola. The three of us had a great time, and we all got along really well. During the course of the next few months Lola and I bonded, and became very close. Gloria often seemed to get very jealous and possessive when Lola and I spent time together. She told us multiple times that she didn't like us hanging out without her, because she introduced us. To this day, Lola and I are wonderful friends. We tell each other lots of things (maybe too much...) and make it a priority to spend time with one another. This also works out well, because Lola's boyfriend - Patty - is another one of my closest friends. Unfortunately, Gloria is also good friends with Patty... So good of friends, in fact, every time Lola or I do something "wrong" she tattles to him about it. Weird, right?


After the first few months of school, while Lola and I became closer, Gloria and I drifted. And so did Gloria and Lola, who at one point were very close friends. Gloria had lots of things going on in her life, which made everything very difficult for her, and rightfully so. But after a while, it just seemed like she was using the unfortunate events of her situation to get pity and attention. Throughout the course of the year, Gloria's bad attitude got progressively worse. Hoping that Gloria and I could go back to the friends we used to be, I thought of it as a passing phase... But boy, was I wrong.


So now we're up to about two days ago. Lola and I agreed that we needed to do something about our quickly deteriorating friendship with Gloria. We decided that we needed to sit down with her, and talk to her about it. We made a point of assuring Gloria that this conversation wasn't coming from a place of hate or anger, but that we were trying to mend a broken friendship. When the three of us got together to have this talk, hardly anything that needed to be said was said. The only thing Lola and I said was that we need to hang out more and not get jealous of each other. I had A LOT more to say, I just didn't know how to say it. I made a mental decision that the next time Gloria and I got together, I would tell her everything that was on my mind. That didn't work out the way I wanted it to.


What happened next started with a Facebook status. The status said "Sometimes I wish people would just say things straight to my face instead of talking to other people and then not saying things when they had the chance". There is a couple very valid points in that status... But the whole world doesn't need to be updated about your personal - PERSONAL - issues. As it turns out, that status wasn't actually about us... It was just a coincidence that it matched up perfectly to our situation... And it got me thinking... Even if that status wasn't about me, it eventually will be about me. More information the entire Internet doesn't need to know... And I can't say it hasn't happened before.


So there you have it. A friendship ruined over pity and lies. Do I feel bad about it? Nope. I'm done as done can be. And so is Lola. So there.

Being a Teacher for Dummies

Have you ever met someone and thought to yourself "I'm pretty sure it's not even humanly possible for someone to be THAT stupid,". I have this thought every third block, Monday to Friday. In third block I have Socials. Now, I am not particularly brilliant in Socials, but I can usually scrape a B or at least a high C+. Not with this teacher, though. No, I definitely struggle to even pass this class. Not because I'm stupid; but because my teacher has lower than average IQ. Lets call him Mr. Honeybees - since he frequently informs us about his.

Almost every time he opens his mouth I wonder how he got through university. He hardly prepares us for our tests - he tells us the day before we have them. Mr. Honeybees doesn't like to mark much, either. Don't believe me? Picture this. This semester is about five and a half months long. Within the first two months, we had written three tests. Almost everybody in the class failed every test. He lets us rewrite any and all of the tests (one of the few good things he does). But he doesn't mark them. I rewrote chapter 1, 2, and 3 tests THREE MONTHS AGO. And they still aren't marked. There is 4 days of classes left. Without those marks, I am failing his class. Dumbass.

Mr. Honeybees isn't very honest. For example, I have a friend who handed in an assignment to his desk. She asked him if he had marked it yet. He said no because he couldn't find it. The next week she asked "did you find my assignment yet?" He said yes he found it and he has put the mark into the computer. The next day guess what she found in her binder? The assignment that our teacher had allegedly marked. Dumbass.

One of the things that bothers me most about his teaching is that he is impatient. In my class we have some immature students. But come on, it's grade 10 boys - what do you expect? But not even jut the boys... He gets mad at the whole class because we're doing poorly. If the class as a whole is doing terrible... Wouldn't you consider that it is not the students fault... But something is going wrong in the delivery of the information? DUMBASS.

Ass Out Of U and Me

Sometimes I think I'm too judgmental... But then I realize, no, people are just stupid. So stupid, in fact, that they cannot decipher when it is appropriate to assume things, and when it is not.

I'm sure that you've experienced this, yes? Maybe you posted a status, or said something and that one friend (or not a friend?) jumps to conclusions an assumes it's about them, so they start spewing derogatory terms out of their pie-hole at you. That happened to me yesterday.

I posted a status on Facebook, that was completely reasonable, and this kid posted a comment on it with some terribly vulgar language. It didn't hurt my feeling at all (he seems to think he's somewhat of a "badass"), but he sure made a fool out of himself.

Anyways, after his outburst of angry name calling, I replied "It's not about you, buddy," and he said something along the lines of "bs, and who are you to judge, blah, blah, blah,". To that I said, "Alright. Whatever helps you sleep at night," but what I WANTED to say was, "You have no idea who I'm talking about, and why I am saying it. So maybe you should get your head outta your ass, and grow some balls. Don't loose your mind every time you think someone has posted something that could break your 'oh so delicate' ego."

But since I'm not a child, I was respectful, and I didn't.

I just want to thank the few readers I have. I don't have many. Maybe 4 or 5, and I know who three of them are, but to each of you, I appreciate you. Coleslaw.

If I Had a Horn, I'd Honk It.

The other day I was walking. I wasn’t walking far, just downthe hallway to my next class. Its 48 steps – I counted. However; one “snail” makesthis task daunting, and nearly impossible. When I finally sat down at my workbench with my lab coat and my safety glasses, I found myself very irritated.Here’s why: people walk slowly. So slow, that in fact, I am almost late forclass every day, which is totally ridiculous considering the proximity of myclasses. I mean, come on! They’re all onone floor!

I’m not being unreasonable, I’m just asking for a littlerespect. Not just for me, but for the general population of the school, ofcourse. If you want to walk like turtles with your little friends, go for it. I’mall for you being late to class. But why do you have to do it RIGHT IN THEMIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY!? There is thirty feet of empty space in front of you,and about fifteen people blocked behind you and your stupid pals there whileyou goof off!

You don’t have to walk fast, but oh, I don’t know. MOVEOVER!

I know what you’re thinking. “Go around?” But you see, thereis no room. In my school, three guys can take up the whole hallway, wall towall. This is extremely inconvenient considering my school has 1600 people init.

And my favorite is when people text going down the stairs. There’salways that one person, who stands on the stairs replying to a text messagethat is “so important”. I just want to walk up to those people and say, “whyare you stopped twenty stairs from the bottom floor, texting? Why? What couldpossibly be so important that you can’t take those few steps to the last stair,and then take 2 steps away so that EVERYBODY ELSE can get wherever they’regoing without waiting 5 minutes on the stairs!?”

This is another one of those times when you can’t go aroundbecause there is a steady flow of people going up, and a massive group ofpeople TRYING to go down.

It wouldn’t be so bad if it was a once in a while situation,but no. It’s almost every day.

So people, if you're a slow walker... Please... Get out of the way...

He's not a prince, she's not a princess.

This morning I was doing my morning check of my Facebook news feed, when I came across a photo a friend of mine posted. I love it when this happens, because pictures amuse me - they're usually funny. But this one just irritated me.

On the photo it said something along the lines of "Girls think they deserve a prince, blah blah blah, but girls don't deserve a Disney prince if they don't look or act like a Disney princess."

Really?

The last time I checked, there isn't many girls that have eyes the size of golf balls, and hair that always falls perfectly no matter how hard or fast they're running. Take a guy who is feeling insecure one day, multiply it by seven billion, and that is how every girl feels every day.

Don't get me wrong, I think this whole "all guys are jerks, why even bother" charade is pathetic. Personally, I think the point of a relationship is finding someone that accepts you despite your faults and insecurities, and loving them the same way.

But that isn't the point.

To the ladies; guys aren't perfect. They never have been, and they never will be. They aren't going to be romantic every second of the day. Men were not put on Earth to satisfy your every need - but when you find someone that is right for you, that is what they're going to want to do. ALSO, most of the females complaining about guys are in middle school or high school. Do you honestly, I mean TRULY, expect to find your "soul mate" in high school? Nope. Last thing, us girls can be real assholes too.

To the gentlemen; stop complaining about being friend-zoned, grow a pair, and ask her out. If you're friends with her, it's likely she liked you at one point - pun unintended. Stop complaining about how girls are selfish and have unrealistic views of you, again, grow a pair, and do something sweet for her every once and a while. That doesn't mean you have to bring her flowers and chocolate every day, but maybe open a door, or pull out a chair. Nobody ever got friend-zoned for chivalry.

And to all you people who see it as it is; good on ya.