Good Friends With Bad Benefits

What makes a good friend? What makes a bad friend? I have a good friend with bad benefits... As in she puts her feet all over me, farts in my bed, and pokes my boobs a lot... But I love her nonetheless, because she is loyal, trustworthy, honest, loving, and other than stealing my iPod to go on Facebook all the time, she can do no wrong in my eyes. But you see, she is not the focus of this entry.


Lets get one thing straight... The title of this blog paints a terrible picture of what this entry is really about... It's about a bad friend with bad benefits. She is a horrible friend, who seems to do nothing but pity herself, and complain. ALL. THE. TIME. Lets call her Gloria. Whilst brainstorming for this blog, I had a terrible fear. What if she reads this entry? And so I came to the conclusion, if she reads this blog entry... Good. Maybe she can finally see my point of view.


I have been friends with Gloria for fourish years. But in the last year we went from tight as spandex to hammer pants ( hammer pants: refer to MC Hammer - Can't Touch This). Let me tell you why.


Early in September Gloria asked me if I wanted to go to a concert with her. I said yes. Having another extra ticket, she also asked another friend to go - Lola. The three of us had a great time, and we all got along really well. During the course of the next few months Lola and I bonded, and became very close. Gloria often seemed to get very jealous and possessive when Lola and I spent time together. She told us multiple times that she didn't like us hanging out without her, because she introduced us. To this day, Lola and I are wonderful friends. We tell each other lots of things (maybe too much...) and make it a priority to spend time with one another. This also works out well, because Lola's boyfriend - Patty - is another one of my closest friends. Unfortunately, Gloria is also good friends with Patty... So good of friends, in fact, every time Lola or I do something "wrong" she tattles to him about it. Weird, right?


After the first few months of school, while Lola and I became closer, Gloria and I drifted. And so did Gloria and Lola, who at one point were very close friends. Gloria had lots of things going on in her life, which made everything very difficult for her, and rightfully so. But after a while, it just seemed like she was using the unfortunate events of her situation to get pity and attention. Throughout the course of the year, Gloria's bad attitude got progressively worse. Hoping that Gloria and I could go back to the friends we used to be, I thought of it as a passing phase... But boy, was I wrong.


So now we're up to about two days ago. Lola and I agreed that we needed to do something about our quickly deteriorating friendship with Gloria. We decided that we needed to sit down with her, and talk to her about it. We made a point of assuring Gloria that this conversation wasn't coming from a place of hate or anger, but that we were trying to mend a broken friendship. When the three of us got together to have this talk, hardly anything that needed to be said was said. The only thing Lola and I said was that we need to hang out more and not get jealous of each other. I had A LOT more to say, I just didn't know how to say it. I made a mental decision that the next time Gloria and I got together, I would tell her everything that was on my mind. That didn't work out the way I wanted it to.


What happened next started with a Facebook status. The status said "Sometimes I wish people would just say things straight to my face instead of talking to other people and then not saying things when they had the chance". There is a couple very valid points in that status... But the whole world doesn't need to be updated about your personal - PERSONAL - issues. As it turns out, that status wasn't actually about us... It was just a coincidence that it matched up perfectly to our situation... And it got me thinking... Even if that status wasn't about me, it eventually will be about me. More information the entire Internet doesn't need to know... And I can't say it hasn't happened before.


So there you have it. A friendship ruined over pity and lies. Do I feel bad about it? Nope. I'm done as done can be. And so is Lola. So there.